You poor guys. You have so much running through your minds when contemplating having a men’s Brazilian wax, affectionately called “Bro”zilian.

While the men’s Brazilian affords you the very same freedom from shaving or clipping we ladies have long enjoyed, it also presents some unsettling concerns about what actually happens during the service.

The angst that exponentially festers and grows is prioritized in precisely this order:

  • Will I get an erection?
  • If so, when?
  • Will it stay that way the whole time?
  • What if the waxer is mortified and kicks me out because I’m full-on saluting her?

Social implications of what happens when your body naturally responds to external stimuli racks you with guilt long before it’s ever a thing.

And when it does become a thing — keep in mind that while it’s likely to happen, it’s by no means a requirement or guarantee — your confused brain will be expecting the authorities to come crashing through the (locked) door and arrest you for solicitation.

To this I say:

“Many times, the thought of fear itself is greater than what it is we fear.” ~Idowu Koyenikan

So take a long, slow, deep breath, gentlemen, and let me explain why it’s okay for your body to respond how it will when getting a men’s Brazilian.

The first rule of proper waxing is that the skin must be taut; the quickest way to an ouchie is when the esthetician doesn’t tighten loose skin before pulling the wax strip.

Therefore, and not coincidentally, an erection is not only okay, but it’s a valuable tool for reducing your discomfort.

The body’s response to physical touch is a primal and very natural component of the sentient creatures we are; some fellas may even find they are aroused by both the pain and pleasure principle.

While our fussy Western attitudes cast shame on such displays, I won’t chastise you whether or not you fly full staff. You’re safe from judgment and ridicule within my four walls.